Want More Joy & Connection with Your Teenager? Choose Your Words (and Timing) Carefully
"Criticism is the #1 killer of relationships. Period." Alice Churnock
After parenting for 21 years, I've realized that my best lessons came from my mistakes.
One big lesson I've learned from parenting teenagers (I've parented four teenage girls by this point) is that I need to choose my words and timing well. By nature, I'm pretty direct. I grew up in a family where we told it like it was.
But direct words at the wrong time will shut a teenager down fast. It will ruin meaningful moments and end conversations.
I speak from experience, and one example of how I finally got this right happened when my daughter was 15. It was a gorgeous fall day, and as we drove in the car together, we had an amazing conversation. The words flowed easily, and so did the laughter.
We sang along with Adele and talked about life and growing up. I felt especially close to her, and I could tell she felt the same. All the world was right.
But as I parked in the driveway, and glanced over at my daughter to savor the high of our connection, my thoughts suddenly shifted. The sunlight on her face highlighted an area of concern, and immediately, my mind switched into mom mode.
Her acne was back— looking flared up and red.
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