Raising Teens? Don't Neglect This
Growing your adult village and finding additional sources of joy beyond your child helps you stay strong. Let me explain why…
One dynamic that’s grown clear to me over time is how we live in a child-centered world.
Unlike our parents’ generation, where children fit into the existing family order, we now revamp the family order to revolve our lives around our children. Rather than create Christ-centered homes, we inadvertently create child-centered homes. Clearly, family is more important than friends and should be prioritized first, but putting children on an altar has created a false idol with many hidden consequences.
When your child is young, having a child-centered home works well. It feels rewarding and natural since your child constantly needs you.
Your child is the center of your universe, and you’re the center of their universe. Your love gets reciprocated with hugs, kisses, and affirmation that you are the world’s best mom.
But as your child becomes a teenager, this dynamic shifts. What once felt rewarding can feel painful or unrewarding as your child pulls away, craves more time with friends, and does the necessary work to grow more independent.
Some days, your love won’t be reciprocated. Your teenager won’t like you or your rules. They’ll fight you on certain decisions. They’ll have bad days, big emotions, hormones, and personal issues that you can’t solve and fix.
While your teenager may still be the center of your universe, no longer are you the center of their universe. This is where moms often panic. This is where we can grow resentful, clingy, or tempted to withdraw.
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