Teaching Your Son What to Look for in a Girlfriend

(includes a printable to share with him)

One truth about parenting is that kids grow up in stages, and every new stage brings new challenges and circumstances.

For parents of high schoolers, dating creates a new frontier. While every family has its own rules & opinions, we all want our kids to make good choices. We don’t want them to date just anyone, because the quickest way to get off-track is through a bad relationship.

Since high schoolers are new to dating, many don’t have a good relationship to compare a bad relationship to. And when a boy hasn’t had much interaction with girls, he may not see the warning signs that suggest trouble up ahead.

It’s easier to talk about dating before your son (or daughter) starts to date. That way it won’t feel awkward or personal. Your son is also less likely to get defensive if you initiate this conversation before a girl enters the picture than if you wait until he brings home someone that you aren’t crazy about.

Share stories from your life and stories of what you’ve witnessed. Remind him how important it is to be a good first boyfriend and set a high bar for the future boys his girlfriends will date. This mindset will help him attract great girls. It will make him a guy who people respect.

Here are some thoughts to share with your son on choosing girls to date and building healthy relationships.

1. When deciding who to date, think about your future goals. Ask yourself: “Will this person help me or hinder me in reaching my goals?” Think about your long-term aspirations and the best partner for that journey.