Daddies Be Good to Your Daughters

A message for girl dads

“I started crying the other day,” my daughter told me, “because I started thinking that I’ll never find a guy as good as Dad.”

My daughters are blessed to have an amazing father. They think he’s perfect, and he thinks they hung the moon. They light up in each other’s presence. They laugh and joke around a lot.

Harry sets a high bar for how boys should treat them. And when they say they want to marry someone just like him, we remind them that who he is now—at age 52—isn’t who he was at age 22.

While he had qualities that I knew would translate well into marriage and parenting (i.e. he loved his family and his church, treated me well, had great friendships, enjoyed children, worked hard, and modeled strong character), he was also a typical 22-year-old boy.

He had room to grow, just like me. His greatest growth spurt happened in the past ten years as his faith deepened. The best qualities my daughters see have compounded over time and come from first having a love for the Lord.

They adore their dad like I adore mine. He is still my biggest cheerleader, and I feel stronger and more confident when he speaks into my life. There is great security in having a devoted, protective, and loving father. It’s a glimpse of God’s love and what healthy masculinity looks like. I wish every girl could experience the love of an earthly father that offers a taste of our Heavenly Father, and that’s why I’ve written this message to encourage girl dads.

Share this letter with your favorite girl dad, reminding him that even if he didn’t have a great role model, he can break the cycle. God works with all circumstances and wants to help us build healthy, loving, and stable families.

Dear Girl Dads,

Let me start by saying that you’ve been given a remarkable gift.

You’ve been entrusted with a daughter who will love you with her whole heart if she knows she’s safe with you.

In the early years, loving a daughter feels easy. What grown man doesn’t turn to mush when holding a baby girl swaddled in pink? How could you not get choked up when she looks at you with starry eyes, begs you to marry you, or runs to door to hug you every day when you come home?

When she’s young, your daughter can’t get enough of you. She’ll talk you into things you never thought you’d do. You may join her at tea parties, learn the Disney princesses by name, and agree to let her style your hair. You may sing songs from Annie and read bedtime stories from Fancy Nancy. You may reluctantly learn how to put her hair in a bow or find your bathtub decorated with glitter.

As you share your passions with her—whether that’s sports, hunting, tennis, golf, art, aviation, etc.—you’ll enjoy it on a new level as she hangs on to every word and grows more confident with each attempt as she learns this hobby too through your encouragement.

Your daughter will bring out your tender side and your fierce protective instincts. You’ll instinctively know that if anyone messes with her, they’ll have to deal with you. You’ll sacrifice anything for her, and at times it will hit you that this little girl who has you wrapped around her finger is more than you deserve.

She’s proof of God’s goodness and what is right in this world.

As she grows up, your relationship can feel less natural. Connection has to be intentional, especially in the teenage years. No longer will she run to greet you at the front door or joyfully squeal as she jumps in your lap. She’ll spend more time in her room and with her friends, and you may find yourself feeling intimidated or baffled by her changing moods, her changing body, or her tricky social dynamics.

This is where many dads back off. It’s where many dads stop showing affection and pursuing their daughter’s heart. But she still needs you, and I promise she still takes it all in. Your voice holds a special power—even if repeat what Mom says, it hits deeper coming from you—and your daughter picks up on the smallest things. You’d be surprised by what leaves an impression.