As Your Child Grows Up, Some Acquaintances May Become Your Best Allies

Having friends beyond your innermost circle can be a lifesaver during a shake-up

Whenever I speak about friendship to teenage girls, I advise them to cast a wide net by being kind to everyone.

It’s great to have best friends, I say, but don’t let that stop you from making new friends. Don’t paint yourself into a corner by only talking to/being kind to your innermost circle.

Instead, make new friends wherever you go. Have your PE friends, your French class friends, your church friends, your volleyball friends, etc. Build a big network by stretching beyond your comfort zone.

One, this will enrich your life — and make you a better person.

Two, this will help you find your tribe, because if you talk to 20 people, you’re bound to click with at least a few of them.

And three, this will give you a place to go if your friend group has a shake-up and suddenly you feel alone, which is likely to happen at some point. 

I know very few teenagers who make it through high school without a lonely season along the way. Having friends beyond your innermost circle can be a lifesaver when a shake-up happens. 

Besides giving you a place to go if your close friends let you down, it increases your odds of finding someone on the same page as you. Someone who shares your values and makes similar choices as you and your closest friends choose different routes.