A Key Message for Girls: Cast a Wide Net & Be Kind to Everyone

My friend once got booted from her friend group because she didn’t have Asahi tennis shoes.

It’s funny story, but when this happened to her in 7th grade, it crushed her.

She’d worked hard to get “in” with the right girls. And between her need for their approval and her lack of designer clothes, she was an easy target.

Her turning point came at lunchtime one day as her best friends talked about her. Finally wising up, she looked around for new company. She spotted two girls sitting on a wall nearby, and though she didn’t know them well, they’d always been kind.

She decided to walk toward them, and immediately they embraced her. They soon the best of friends.

She found her happy ending for one big reason: she was friendly beyond her friend group. She didn’t paint herself into a corner by only being kind to a select group of girls.

Girls often make this mistake as they find their people and form their squads. They get so tight with their inner circle that they shut out everyone else.

And when their circle hurts them—or when the dynamics suddenly change—they have nowhere to go. Nobody will take them in because they burned too many bridges.