20 Key Conversations to Have with Your Teenage Daughter (and Many Your Teenage Son)

A group of girls on a Christian retreat were taken to a mountaintop and told to listen to their fathers.

One at a time, they were blindfolded and told what steps to take. Since cliffs were nearby, they had to walk slowly and deliberately.

Each blindfolded girl was told to listen to her dad. Her dad was instructed to speak softer and softer until his voice became a whisper.

Meanwhile, the girls watching were told to gradually get louder and louder to drown out the father’s voice. After several steps, each blindfolded girl would panic as she asked, “Daddy, where do I go? I can’t hear you!” because the noise was too loud.

As her peers screamed louder, her father’s voice was lost.

I love this exercise and its application to listening to God. For teenagers, who constantly get bombarded by outside voices, tuning into God’s quiet whispers can make a huge difference in where they end up.

It can protect them and steer them away from nearby cliffs.

Adolescence is a time of dangerous new territory. To blindly let our daughters loose without any instruction would be irresponsible. Unlike us, they haven’t lived long enough to see tragedies. They don’t know what can happen from a seemingly harmless choice. They don’t believe us when we share stories of potentially fatal outcomes.

We can’t always save them, but we can prepare them the best we can for treacherous terrain. Here are critical conversations to get you started.

20 Ways to Prepare Your Daughter for the Road

1. Let your daughter know that you’re on her side.

As you hear about her peers making poor choices, empathize with your daughter’s position. Acknowledge the difficulty of standing strong.

You may say, “I hate this social scene you’re dealing with. It’s tougher than what I faced. My priorities are your safety and honesty. Be honest, even if you mess up, because I need to know the truth to help you. I love you so much, I’d take a bullet for you. I’d rescue you from the seediest part of town, so don’t ever hesitate to call me out of fear of getting in trouble. Even if I’m upset, I’ll get over it if you’re safe. What I’d never get over is losing you, so please value your life as much I do.”

2. Talk about five-second decisions.

A mom was at the lake with her daughter and her daughter’s friends when two 16-year-old boys pulled up on a boat and invited the girls to ride.

The mom had to quickly decide whether to let them go, and since she wasn’t sure about the boys’ boating skills or if they’d been drinking (she knew they’d recently been busted) she said no. It wasn’t worth the risk.

Parents and teenagers alike face “five-second decisions” that randomly pop up. For your daughter, the decision could involve peer pressure at a party or participating in a prank. Pray in advance for wisdom. Tell your daughter to trust her gut and err on the side of safety. Talk about exit strategies before going to a party and blaming you to save face or get out of a bad situation.